Sorry, Your Money's No Good Here

This was a phrase some of my San Francisco friends use to pull out to mean they were picking up the tab for drinks or dinner, etc. It was a good natured joke and always nice to hear!

In Vietnam you might hear this or some variation of it and it's not a joke nor is it nice to hear. In Vietnam, and maybe elsewhere in Asia or the world, people are real funny about money, literally the condition of cash. If you try to pay with cash that is not in good condition, for example it has a piece missing or is torn, many establishments will not accept it or will try very hard to get you to fork over some good cash instead.

This is one of my pet peeves about Vietnam because I find it to be so silly and such a waste of everyone's time. It's also an interesting study in conformist herd behavior.

Other than the government issued Vietnam dong (đồng, vnđ or vnd) the US dollar is still widely circulated and used in Vietnam. Many landlords who rent to foreigners request or demand rent payment in US dollars. It can be roundly debated how stable the US dollar is these days, but there is no doubt that it's many times more stable and reliable a store of value than the vnd.

In the case of US dollar cash, it's logical to be leary of bad cash because the nearest US bank that can recycle it is, well, kind of far away. During my first trip to Vietnam in 2008 I was rudely introduced to this when I went into a jewelry shop in Hanoi to change a $100 US bill into vnd and the lady wouldn't take it because it was a little worn.

I was a little taken aback at the time because the idea that cash has a certain lifespan and could become worth less as it physically disintegrates had simply never been something that I needed to think about. In the US as long as you have 51% or so of a bill you can send it or take it somewhere and have it replaced with a new one or so I've heard.

One of my housemates, another American, who pays the rent in US dollars has told me that some Vietnamese banks will accept worn US dollar cash, but they'll charge a fee to do it so it's easy to rationalize that worn foreign cash truly is worth less.

But here's where it gets silly. The Vietnamese also play the same game with their own vnd cash. Why they do this I don't know since Vietnamese cash, even torn or worn, is accepted at banks here. Or perhaps the banks also charge a fee to accept bad vnd cash.

I've seen vnd bills in denominations as low as 200 (less than 1 US cent) up to 500,000 (about $23.25 US). The bills in denominations under 10,000 are made of paper and tend to wear out rather quickly, but are still accepted in any condition since they're not worth very much. The denominations of 10,000 dong and higher are made of a high quality pliable plastic and will last much longer than paper and would be difficult and expensive to counterfeit. I've been told by a few sources that the Vietnamese cash is actually made in Australia and is similar to Aussie cash in composition.

I've only seen Vietnamese merchants balk at the condition of Vietnamese cash when it's at least 50,000 vnd ($2.33 US). This happened about 1 week ago when I was at one of the popular Pho24 restaurants and a foreigner at a table nearby paid with a 50,000 vnd note that the staff didn't like the condition of. He was very accommodating and happily took it back and gave the waitress a better one. How he eventually dispossessed himself of the mortally wounded note I wish I knew.

It took a long time for me to notice this game the Vietnamese play with their cash, but as is often the case, once I did notice it it became hard to ignore. Now I believe there's a game of hot potato that goes on and I believe foreigners are often a target since they rarely have any clue about it.

Most tourists in Vietnam exchange their cash for Vietnamese dong at an official foreign exchange counter. There are many of these scattered around Saigon and other tourist areas. I still obtain my dong the same way since I've found I get the best rates at the exchange counters around the high-end hotel area of District 1 along Dong Khoi (Đồng Khởi) and Nguyen Hue (Nguyễn Huệ) and Le Loi (Lê Lội) streets. This is one service that the Pham Ngu Lao (Phạm Ngũ Lão) backpacker area does not offer the best prices for. It's better to do your exchange in the large cities since rates start dropping as you move away from the competitive touristed areas.

Numerous times after exchanging a $100 US bill for a small stack of 100,000 vnd notes at one of the aforementioned official currency exchange counters, I've later discovered they slipped in a chipped or torn note. I'm trying to get myself into the habit of not only counting the cash when I do an exchange but also to look for any of these notes they might have inadvertently slipped in. By the way, I've never found any counting errors nor heard of any when exchanging cash this way. They're pretty good about that.

I've found the only way to get rid of a bad 100,000 vnd note is to force a merchant to accept it after I already owe the money such as when paying a restaurant bill. I actually go through a ridiculous process of separating my good cash from the bad in my pockets and after I pay with the bad note and they inevitably bring it back and ask if I have a good one, I pull out the small change from the staged pocket and tell them sorry I don't. That's what it takes to get rid of these 'bad' notes! I feel silly doing it, but I have no choice unless I want to either eat the $4.66 US every time I get one of these or take a trip to a bank to exchange it.

After a stay at a hotel in Nha Trang I paid the bill in US dollars and received change also in dollars and later discovered they had given me a really thin and torn $20 US bill. Luckily I hadn't left Nha Trang because I was only switching hotels so I took it back and the receptionist switched it for another no questions asked.

Before writing this post I found a badly chipped 20,000 dong (93 cents US) note in my possession and thought I would write about the difficult time I had passing it on, but at the Highlands Coffee shop I went to they took it without protest. This and my observation at Pho24 have led me to believe that 50,000 vnd is the generally accepted protest threshold.

You'd think we'd all have something better to spend our time on here.

On this trip to Vietnam, I've noticed a word that I didn't notice before that's used when expressing prices in vnd. Instead of saying the Vietnamese equivalent of 'twenty thousand dong' for example you'll hear 'hai (2) chục', so this word 'chục' means ten thousand dong. It sounds sort of like 'chup' in English. I consulted with a local and was told it's not a new word, but it's used informally in markets, etc. and you wouldn't use it in a more formal setting such as a bank.

If you're coming to Vietnam as a tourist and bringing cash with you, it's a very good idea to make sure it's all in good condition. If you want to make lots of friends here bring an abundant supply of crisp $1 and $2 (they love those here) US notes to hand out. You'll be welcome back any time.

One of my favorite cafes around Nha Trang. This is one is a little north of town, too far to walk, and I've never had any other customers disturb my private serenity.

Saigon, undoubtedly developing and modernizing at a rapid pace, still retains a lot of its rustic character. Here chickens hang out near a park in District 1.

Xe What?

I decided I had to finally take the plunge and get over one of my silly fears even if it meant dying in the process. That and the fact that I grew tired of walking and taking xe om's (ôm) everywhere. What's a xe om you ask? Xe (pronounced like 'say') is the general word in Vietnamese for a conveyance. Xe dap (dạp) is a bicycle, xe may (máy) is a motorbike, xe oto (ôtô) is a car (get it, ôtô = auto). Om is a word for hug. Think about it. Answer is at the end of the post.

What I finally did that I've been so nervous about was buy a motorbike. I've seen a few foreigners cruising around Vietnam on motorbikes and even full-fledged motorcycles and haven't heard too many stories of injury and death, other than my own accident in Hue (Huế) last year, so what could be the danger? I've been understandably apprehensive since that accident about driving a motorbike again, but I've now thought about it extensively and decided the accident was all my fault. In new agey parlance I've 'taken ownership' of the accident and the upside to that is that it puts me back in control and so by changing my driving techniques I can avoid having another. That's what I'm going with anyway. That can be my epitaph, 'He Took Ownership'.

The most common motorbikes in Vietnam seem to be the Honda Dreams and Waves. You see so many of them that they quickly become non-descript. Sort of like a Honda Civic or Accord in the USA. You also see a few larger real motorcycles like Honda Rebels and the old Russian Minsks, but I've never tried a large bike and was only kidding about that dying thing, so I decided to start with something on the small side but hopefully with a little style.

The real styling motorbike to have in Saigon and all over Vietnam is undoubtedly the Vespa. The Vietnamese fall for that Italian style just like the rest of us even though the Vespa bikes are significantly more expensive and costly to maintain. But I have to say they sure look nice. You see plenty of new Vespas and also a lot of older restored ones and they all look good.

I hear varying versions of how much a Vespa costs. I've seen ads for old ones with asking prices of around $1000 US and up. I heard from someone who seemed reliable that a new one will run around $3500 US. I also heard from someone else that a new one runs $9000 US which I have a real hard time believing since I see too many of them on the streets of Saigon and don't think so many Vietnamese could or would spend that much on a motorbike but it wouldn't be the first time (today) that I've been wrong about something.

Most motorbikes in Vietnam are made in Japan, and increasingly, China. The Chinese also noticed that Vespas look good and that even though they're expensive there's a lucrative market for them so the Chinese did what they're infamously known for, they started making a version of their own that looks remarkably and coincidentally similar to the Vespa. You see many more Attila Syms on the streets here than you do Vespas and the Attilas have a reputation for being more reliable at, of course, a fraction of the cost. Many Vietnamese I've spoken to said they would prefer the Attila over a Vespa even if they had the money for the latter.

Since I wasn't looking for a new bike I perused the Vietnam Craigslist, yes that same Craig of San Francisco, and found a post from someone who restores old bikes such as Honda Benleys and Cubs among others. After meeting him, a Vietnamese who lived many years in the USA - in Vietnam they're known as Viet kieu (Việt kiều), I decided to just take the plunge and do it. I decided on a Honda Cub for a few reasons. First and foremost I like the way they look, especially the pics of the nicely restored bikes he showed me. The second reason is that they're relatively small bikes and there are 2 reasons why I like this. First is that since it was going to essentially be my trainer/starter bike I figured I should start small both for my own personal safety and also the cost of the bike. That way if I realized I just didn't have what it takes to navigate Saigon's swirling maelstrom of traffic, I could bail out at minimal cost. And maybe also minimal personal injury. The other reason for driving a small bike is there's no driver license required in Vietnam for bikes with engines under 50 cc. The beauty of this restored bike is that it actually comes with a newer engine that just may be larger than 50 cc, I mean I just don't know since I'm no expert and who can tell just by looking at the engine from the outside, wink, wink. The motorbike registration card which dates from over 10 years ago under some Vietnamese name says the engine size is 49 cc and who am I to question an official registration document? Bottom line is that I can get by without a driver license on a Honda Cub.

Vietnam is not the free-for-all it was years ago. You will often see the traffic police, the CSGT, dressed in their tan uniforms standing by the side of the road flagging down drivers to pull over. They do this by blowing a whistle and pointing their baton at the driver of interest. The most common offenses I believe people are cited for are driving a motorbike without a helmet and not having a license, registration, or insurance. I've been told driving sans helmet will cost you 1 million vnd, about $50 US. In the past the CSGT have mostly left foreigners alone largely, I imagine, because they don't want to try to communicate with them but last year I saw a few foreigners pulled over and being spoken to in English by CSGT officers. I bought insurance since I am supposed to have it and am also planning on getting a Vietnam driver license since I may want to upgrade to a larger bike and it's just a good idea. Insurance for 1 year currently runs 86,000 vnd, about $4.25 US.

As was pointed out to me by an Aussie who's been driving around Saigon on a motorbike for almost a year, it's the acceleration that's important and not so much the top end. The obvious reason for that is the ability to surge out of tricky spots like finding yourself in a 4 foot corridor between a bus and the curb with the 4 feet diminishing right in front of you. One of the principles of driving in Vietnam is that if you don't move into an open space in front of you someone else will. Vietnamese drivers, like Mother Nature, abhor a vacuum.

I have to say my bike sure seems to have a lot of guts for that small engine. Top speed I've hit thus far is 75 km/hr (47 mph). Must be because I'm such an excellent driver.

Another nice aspect to buying the Honda Cub is that it was custom made so I could pick out the colors. I thought red and black would look menacing enough, but I have to be honest and add that a Vietnamese girl riding a pink bicycle told me my motorbike was cute. I guess a small motorbike, even one painted in those macho colors, can't transcend its true self. I did mention that it's only my starter bike didn't I?

I've also gotten many curious looks and a few smiles and thumbs ups from Vietnamese who see me on the bike. It's not so unusual to see a foreigner on a motorbike in Saigon, but most will be riding bland rental bikes.

So far I've logged 200 km (125 miles) on the Saigon streets including 2 stints in rush hour traffic with no scratches or dents on the bike or myself. Once you figure out the few rules about driving here the experience changes from one of white-knuckled terror to being actually enjoyable. Except for the rush hour traffic.

Xe om? It's the name for the many free-wheeling motorbike taxis in Vietnam. All that's required to go into business is the bike and a helmet for your passengers. Om refers to hugging the driver in front of you as you ride on the back seat though I don't think many of them actually get much of that. I use them a lot and have even gotten to/from the airport on one. They typically run about half the cost of car taxis, though you'll usually have to bargain to get that price, and are faster than a car when traffic gets heavy as they weave their way through the tangle. You'll sometimes be thinking 'xe omg, never again' when you reach your destination.

My 'cute' restored Honda Cub. I'm liking it!

This and the next 3 pics were all taken in about 10 minutes while I sat at a cafe in district 7 in Saigon. This one is your basic Honda Wave or Dream or whatever.

Another Honda loaded up like you'll often see. You'll see washing machines and refrigerators transported this way, too.

One of the contraption variety. Some of these 3-wheeled vehicles are leg powered. A lot of loose material gets transported this way in Vietnam.

Yuppie girl on her Vespa.

One of the common Chinese-made Attila Vespa knock-offs. This guy looks to have lost a sandal, but he's got his obligatory coffee drink.

Quintessentially Vietnamese, the squid bike. Xe mực? Those are the dried squid you can see hanging. He first pounds them to tenderize them and then heats them using power from the battery. Also note the fluorescent light. OK for a snack, but don't fly to Vietnam just to try it.