A Wedding and A Funeral

I've written before of an engagement party I attended in October of last year. It was in some alleyway in district 7 and I knew 2 of the Vietnamese guests and no one else when I arrived. When the beer started flowing I, not one to turn down beer and wanting to participate in the festivities, gladly partook. Big mistake. After getting a few beers and some shots of whisky under their belts some of the Vietnamese men suddenly brightened to the sporting idea of knocking back a few drinks with The Foreigner. Yes, I was The Foreigner, the only one. I'm sure that each of them simply felt that it was a friendly social gesture to make. Each and every one of them in succession. No doubt those that had not yet stepped up to the challenge were goaded and chided by their brave friends who had. It just wouldn't stop. And this was at about 11 AM on a Tuesday. And truthfully I don't really care for the beer that most Vietnamese enjoy drinking under any circumstances in any setting, especially on a weekday morning!

Last weekend I was invited by a friend whose boyfriend is back home in Germany to accompany her to her friend's wedding. Without thinking about my previous traumatic experience at the engagement party I accepted.

We went to the wedding ceremony on my little Honda Cub. I always love it when I have a passenger riding pillion (that's a word I've learned since living here) since it's a small motorbike and I'm really too big for it by myself. I once gave a ride to the Saigon Notre Dame Cathedral (Nhà Thờ Dức Bà) to a tall lanky black man who was living in the same house as myself. What a sight we must have been swaying down Nguyễn Thị Minh Khai street! Heads were definitely turning.

The wedding was at least on a Sunday afternoon and took place in a special facility built for hosting such events. There was at least one other wedding taking place in an adjoining area. Not surprisingly I was the only foreigner in attendance. I immediately noticed a large table of middle-aged men who were already working their way through a convenience store's inventory of cheap Vietnamese beer and I felt myself shudder at the sight as the memories of the engagement party came rushing back and I realised what I might be confronted with over the next few hours. Thankfully the table we were seated at included only 3 other women and 1 friendly mild-mannered man.

I didn't take too long into the ceremony for the first brave volunteer to come shuffling over to the table with his glass of ice and beer. Of course he didn't speak a word of English but that wasn't going to deter him in the least when he wanted to show all his buds who were watching from his table that he had what it took to drink a beer with The Foreigner. He wasn't too pushy or rude about it and I simply shook my head and he departed. 'Wow, that was easy', I thought to myself.

I had made up my mind at that point that I wasn't going to drink any beer, whiskey, or anything alcoholic on offer because I knew that as soon as I did the line would start forming. As I've mentioned before I have no illusions about why Vietnamese men want to have a drink with me. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than me being The Foreigner. No thanks. A special object is still just an object and I now have enough real friends (just 1 is enough!) here that I no longer need to play that game.

As the wedding proceeded 2 more beer-swilling soldiers made their way over and attempted to coerce me into imbibing with them and I politely let them know I wasn't interested. The 3rd attemptee tried the hover tactic. He just stood there with his glass of beer in his hand after I'd told him I wasn't interested in drinking thinking that if he stood there long enough I'd give in or change my mind. I've perfected the tactic of ignoring people since living here, something that at first really went against my nature and experiences, but after a while you learn that if you don't do it you'll just be exploited and in the end it saves your time and theirs.

The 4th and final partier was the most obnoxious because he already had some beer sloshing around in his belly and likely knew that no one had yet succeeded with The Foreigner. He put his foul mouth right next to my ear and started yelling Vietnamese and pointing at his glass of beer. In order to put an end to his annoying entreaties, I finally resorted to uttering perhaps the biggest lie that has ever passed over my lips. I turned to him and spat out "Tôi không thích bia".  He nodded and began to walk away as I waited for the bolt of lightning to crash through the ceiling and smite me dead but perhaps the heavens had taken mercy on me and were granting leniency that day.

We departed the ceremony soon after. The weddings around Saigon these days are often short affairs. I don't think we were there even 2 hours. As is often the case here the newlyweds had no formal honeymoon plans. I assume it was back to the usual work grind for them the next day.

I departed the room with my head held high and a bit of a smirk on my face. As I was walking out the door a guest who unlike myself had knocked back a few, embraced me and and kissed me on the cheek and told me in English 'I love you'. And it was a man! Ah, the perils of 333. 333 (ba ba ba) is one of the popular local beers. 2 cans of 333 is 666, right? Coincidence?

Another friend of mine who sometimes helps me with Vietnamese called me to tell me she was very upset because she'd just found out that one of her English teachers had died unexpectedly in his apartment in Saigon. He had had some health problems related to some kind of accident but his death was a shock. He was an American about my age, a few years younger actually, and it struck a chord with me.

His body was to be cremated here and his ashes sent home but there was to be a memorial ceremony held before the cremation at the hospital where his body was being held. I decided I would accompany my friend to the ceremony out of concern for her but also because I felt some connection to this man I'd never met.
My friend was concerned that he had died without many friends in Vietnam and wanted to be there for spiritual support for his memory. Buddhists can be the most incredibly kind and caring people.

Funerals are known for bringing people together who were part of the decedent's life who might have never met or even known of each other and it happened at this one. His memorial was well-attended by people, many of whom had never met before. My friend didn't even know about his Vietnamese girlfriend who was there and who was clearly distraught. He had also done some volunteer work for a charity and the charity director along with some other staff were in attendance and I met and talked with them about the work they were doing. It's difficult to find charitable groups that you feel are honest and dedicated to their cause, but I was left with a good feeling about this one.

In the end, I made a few new acquaintances and learned about the people behind a charity that helps Vietnamese children born with physical disabilities. I made a monetary donation and may do more, including helping out as a volunteer, in the future. My friend was left feeling better knowing that he hadn't been as isolated and alone as she'd feared. So many positives resulted from his memorial and I can't help but thinking that he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. RIP.

The newlyweds and their party pose on the stage. There was lots of sparks, lights, music even though I was told the ceremony would be 'traditional'.

Some of the revelers take over the stage for a little impromptu singing after the ceremony.

Buddhist shrines are ubiquitous in Vietnamese homes and businesses. Incense, photos, flowers, fruit are all common offerings along with the occasional cigarettes and whiskey. This one is in the house I'm currently living in and the fruit ends up on the kitchen table after Buddha is given his due right of first refusal.

Curb Your Cynicism

I have to make a confession. I'm cynical. Too damn cynical. That's a relative statement of course, but it's my opinion of how I compare to the majority of other human beings I know, meaning almost everyone has some level of cynicism, you must to survive in this world, but I feel my level of cynicism exceeds some average level, however one would measure that, by a significant margin.

This is nothing new and not a personal revelation of any sort. I've always been a little more cynical than average, but I find as I've accumulated more negatively reinforcing experiences my cynicism has only grown.

I recently read a piece on the internet, I can't even remember the topic, that pointed out that cynicism is cheap and easy while optimism takes effort and is an overall positive to individuals and society at large. In general I have to agree with this, but I also believe you can have too much of anything. I told an acquaintance here in Saigon a couple of years ago when we were having a discussion on the topic and that who in my opinion was afflicted with a general sense of optimism that defied truth and reality to the point that he was a danger to himself and others that he could believe he was going to jump into the Saigon River and swim to Los Angeles and I didn't care how much he believed it or how optimistic about he was I would never believe it and would bet against him if possible and win the bet! So sure there are limits to anything, but I do agree that it's way too easy to become cynical in life and I imagine if there have ever been any studies on it that the results show that people generally do become more so as they age as few of us lead what could be called a charmed life.

But of course there's another side to the cynicism issue besides the life one has led and its accumulated experiences. That other aspect and the only we have any control over is that ultimately it's a choice. I know, it's a bit cliche, but it's cliche because it's true and always has and will be. I do believe there are those among us who are naturally optimistic and who don't dwell on negative experiences or the negative aspects of experiences and who see the silver lining and the bright side when others don't. I've never been a member of that segment of the human population and I'm susceptible to my natural impulses driving me into a cheerless dark psychological hole. Trust me, it's not a happy fun place to be.

There is plenty to get cynical about no matter where one lives and southeast Asia offers many ways and opportunities for foreigners to slide down the cynical slippery slope should one allow oneself to do so. From the trash on the ground and in the waterways and the pollution in the air to tourist scams and foreigner pricing to the low general level of education of the locals to the low general level of education and intelligence of the expats to the fact that so many here eagerly embrace the arrival of what a lot of us wanted to get away from by coming here, and the list goes on.

For many expats in Asia the fact that we can never really belong to the society in a legal sense often becomes a bigger issue. When most of us first arrive here we couldn't give a rat's ass about that and actually are quite happy about not being part of the society! But as time goes by and one realises that he may not receive the same treatment as locals should problems or disputes arise it can start to loom larger and sometimes is the reason expats give for leaving Asia.

By contrast, in the USA and most of the West as it's referred to here, even though it includes Australians, Kiwis, and Russians in the minds of locals, a foreigner can go through a process and eventually become a naturalised citizen of the country with full voting, legal, and property ownership rights. While voting rights don't mean much in Vietnam, having the right to own property and businesses does and eventually this can become more and more important. The Vietnamese government has however recently relaxed property ownership rules so that foreigners can hold long-term leases on apartments and condos that are a form of effective ownership, but so far few have done so. Countries such as Mexico offer similar arrangements to Americans for example.

The other side to that coin is that many southeast Asian countries allow foreigners to arrive on tourist or other visas and work or pay their way up to attaining indefinite temporary residency (ITR). It's usually after an expat has attained this ITR that he will start thinking about the next and final step and become frustrated that it probably isn't open to him at all or at least not with the same relative ease as the ITR was. Well, that's life. The key is to manage one's expectations and stay realistic. In southeast Asia one can relatively easily obtain ITR but almost never full citizenship while in the West ITR is not easily available but citizenship is an option. I don't know of anywhere where both are available and many countries offer neither!

What I've discovered about myself is that I'm subject to a cycle in which I allow my cynicism to build and build until it almost becomes a barrier to normal responses until something happens that almost instantly dissolves it and I go back to the beginning. Obviously it's a cycle I'd like to break.

About a month ago I was in the Phu My Hung (Phú Mỹ Hưng) area of Saigon's district 7, one of the few areas in Vietnam that approach the feel of a Western suburb and my reliable Honda Cub (2+ years of fun-filled Saigon driving now!) was parked in an uncovered area when the skies opened up with a deluge that had me thinking of a typhoon. It lasted for about an hour. I brushed the water off the Cub's seat and hopped on and gave it a kick. It has no electric starter. Or fuel gauge. Nor does the speedometer or odometer work. This all only adds to the aforementioned fun. It cranked right up and I shifted into gear and began moving. For about 5 feet. The engine sputtered out and by the sound it made and the manner of its sputtering I was afraid the cause was something deep in its dark oily bowels.

Many successive start attempts brought not even a flicker of life back to engine. As happens about 100% of the time in Vietnam when someone is having a problem starting a motorbike, any number of Vietnamese men start taking numbers and getting in line to show the world that they have what it takes to succeed where someone else is failing. When that someone else is a foreigner I'm sure it only sweetens the potential taste of success. I had 3 this time each performing his successive attempts with the same amount of success I was having. Invariably 1 of them had to open the fuel tank (remember, no gauge!) to check on the presence of gasoline. I never mind any of this as there's no harm in trying and if someone can start it, well hey, here's to you my friend. But today it was not to be. We at least pulled the spark plug wire off and determined there was no spark thereby pinning down the problem as an electrical one.

I arranged to leave the Cub at the parking lot and took a cab home leaving it for the next day to try again. I was sure the rain had something to do with it and thought that overnight the problem might literally dry up and go away.

I arrived back the following afternoon with my fingers crossed and approached the Cub with hope and trepidation. I had already thought about my options if it didn't start and wasn't looking forward to having to execute them. The problem with the Phu My Hung area is that it's an upscale residential area so repair shops are non-existent there. The nearest shop I knew of was at least 2 km away and I would have to push it there.

I kicked, I throttled, I even played with the choke but no there was change from the previous day. I dejectedly began pushing the Cub out of the parking lot and was informed by the attendant that there was a man who could help about 1 km away and it was in the direction I was going.

I was in a foul mood and was already grumbling about how much money I was going to be stuck for after pushing my motorbike to a repair shop. Being a foreigner and being fairly well-dressed was only going to make matters worse. It goes without saying but pushing a dead motorbike along the road is not at the top of anyone's list of enjoyable activities. You see it frequently in Saigon and I imagine it's often due to the lack of fuel in the tank and I hated that 99% of those who saw me were thinking I had let that happen.

After about 1 km I heard a shout from across the fairly busy road. I stopped and peered through the traffic and saw the man waving at me. I realised this was likely the gentleman the attendant had referred to and with resignation I pushed the bike across the road through the traffic. He asked about fuel and I informed him "không lửa (no fire)". That was enough for him to spring into action. I didn't ask anything about cost because I was defeated at this point. It was worth a large amount to me to not have to push the bike anymore.

He at least was competent, beginning at the spark plug and working his way back, testing for any spark as he went. After a few minutes he had determined that the problem was beyond his area of expertise and he would summon another man to continue with the repair. I shrugged and said ok. What else was I going to say? The communication was all in Vietnamese and my limited grasp of it was at least proving adequate enough.

Soon enough the expert arrived with his box of special tools and was busily at work. Within 20 minutes he had removed the engine cover on one side and exposed the end of the crank shaft and the 2 ignition coils that sit astride it that are the genesis of the spark that eventually flashes from the end of the spark plug that ignites the fuel mix that makes the engine go. Somehow he determined that one of the coils was old and had gotten wet and would need replacing. I mutely nodded my assent. All during this repair process I was keeping a mental tab on what the estimated cost would be and it was escalating rapidly.

The replacement ignition coil arrived and was installed and we all cheered when the engine growled to life again. The pieces laying on the ground were quickly assembled and the bike was ready to go. The cab driver who had sat down next to me during the repair joked that it was going to be free. Ha ha, I thought, I just love your sardonic sense of humor.

I had racked up a bill in my mind of at least 300,000 vnd and was ready to pay 500,000 ($24 US) without complaining too much. They had saved me from pushing the bike a much longer way and had had 2 people working on the bike for almost an hour and had left twice to retrieve 1 of the repairmen and the new part and I had no idea what the price of the part was.

As the electrical system man packed up his tools and walked over to his bike I enquired as to how much I owed. "150,000" was the reply as I stood there stunned and cowed. That's about $7.30 US! Perhaps the fact that I spoke a modicum of Vietnamese and had joked around with them a bit had had an effect. I almost voluntarily paid more but didn't. Yes, curb my cynicism indeed.

On a final note it occurred to me the other day that I haven't seen the scamming Filipinos ("Hi where are you from, where did you buy that/those ______, where is ______?") in the parks and elsewhere for quite some time, months even. For now they're gone but apparently they've simply moved over to Thailand and
elsewhere.

Curb your cynicism but don't abandon it outright!

On Sunday afternoons in a part of Saigon's district 2 locals enjoy flying kites of many sizes and shapes.This area will probably become more developed but for now it offers a nice place to find some open space away from the city's noisy center.

Hello, Mr. Octopus! This is the face of the large kite from the previous photo.

The Phu My Bridge offers a scenic backdrop.

Hanoi is not fonda Hanoi Jane Fonda. This is the bright cheery face of censorship! I was watching a show on the 60's and mention was made of Jane and her stance on the Vietnam War and that's all it took for the plug to be pulled. Hey Hanoi, she was AGAINST the US involvement in the war!

Healthy Vietnamese Food

One aspect of Vietnam that gets a lot of praise is the cuisine. It's something that I give the Vietnamese a lot of credit for. I prefer it over Chinese and even the ever-popular Thai food. But it still doesn't compare to Japanese food. The Japanese have taken food and its preparation to levels no other Asian, or maybe even any, nation has IMHO. It would be a tough call for me to decide between Japanese or French for the top spot.

What I like about Vietnamese food is how diverse and interesting it is usually using only a few simple ingredients. One of my favorite dishes is grilled squid with chili lime sauce. The name pretty much tells you all there is to know about it and it's so delicious. Many Vietnamese dishes are served with a sauce on the side and chili lime and chili soy are 2 of the most popular. The chili lime sauce usually consists of salt and black pepper in addition to a fresh chili pepper and a fresh lime wedge which you mix together yourself. I always find myself repeatedly sampling the sauce by itself, never sure if it's considered gauche.

There's one type of Vietnamese food that really stands out and that's Hue (Huế) cuisine originating from the city of the same name in central Vietnam. Hue cuisine was developed to please the pallates of the Nguyen (Nguyễn) royals when Hue was Vietnam's capital from the early 1800's to 1945. I'm sure the French who were controlling Vietnam during that period had some influence on the development of Hue cuisine and it's not difficult to detect the French quality of today's Hue cuisine which emphasises more elaborate preparation and sauces than other Vietnamese cuisine.

In theory Vietnamese food is very healthy. It could and should and probably often is healthy when prepared naturally with quality ingredients. But there's a problem. Actually a few problems. A lot of Vietnamese food is not prepared naturally, a lot of the ingredients are not as natural and as healthy as they could be, and sometimes the environment at restaurants, especially the sidewalk variety, is not so sanitary.

The idea of organic doesn't really exist in Vietnam or at least it's not prevalent. Years ago I imagine all the food in Vietnam was organic by default just as it once was everywhere else in the world. But in Vietnam technology and advances in anything and everything are enthusiastically embraced and this can sometimes be more of a negative than a positive as we all know.

When I go food shopping at any of the local supermarkets I often inadvertantly stumble into what can only be called the aisle of horrors. There it is, shelf after shelf of bags of white powder, quaintly referred to as sweet powder (bột ngọt) in the local dialect. No, it's not cocaine, it's worse, MSG, and it's used liberally and copiously by many of the restaurants in Saigon and Vietnam. Many may not care about its use but for me I just don't like the idea of dumping chemicals into food because someone thinks it makes it taste better and furthermore if I get a large enough of dosage of it it puts me into a semi-comatose state for a few hours.

I knew that MSG was often used in restaurants in Saigon both because of seeing how much of it is for sale in the local supermarkets and because of suffering the aforementioned physical effects numerous times after patronising some restaurants. I brought it up with a Vietnamese friend of mine and she tried to tell me that no, restaurants wouldn't use MSG because sugar is cheaper so they would just use sugar if they wanted to add something to the food to improve the taste. Yeah right, so much for local knowledge. Supermarkets wouldn't dedicate so much shelf space to a product that doesn't sell and it's only used for one purpose.

One of the worst offenders are the numerous 'Office Rice Lunch' joints that permeate the city. These are cheap restaurants catering to the lunchtime Vietnamese office worker market and they're always jammed at lunchtime doling out various rice-based dishes from large steaming pots. I once ate at one of these establishments with 2 Vietnamese friends and enjoyed a rice dish for about $2 US. Wow, what a bargain! But it's not such a bargain when you save a few dollars but then lose 4-5 hours of your life trying not to nod off due to the fuzzy haze your head is immersed in from the overdose of MSG you received. And of course there are undoubtably long-term effects that are not widely known. I'm not aware of any but don't kid myself that they don't exist. In general the cheaper the restaurant the more likely it is they use MSG.

It seems most Vietnamese are immune or oblivious to its effects as I've never heard any of them even so much as mention its existence. Bottom line is that it's good or even necessary for business here. If one joint is using it and getting more customers then there's no doubt that all of them will also use it simpy to stay in business. It's analogous to the 'speaker wars' that sometimes erupt along city streets in Vietnam when a shop blares loud music out onto the sidewalk from speakers placed outside its doors and it somehow apparently draws in customers. Well, it doesn't take long for every shop on the street to engage in the tactic with the easily predicted result of an escalating volume of noise pounding from speakers in an attempt to get more heads to turn in their direction. Eventually it gets so bad that complaints start until eventually the authorities show up to put an end to it.

You can request that your food not be prepared with MSG by saying, or probably better and easier writing and showing, to your server 'Không bột ngọt'. I've done it before but of course you may never know if they actually complied with your wishes. For soups like pho (phở) there's usually nothing that can be done as it likely went in long before.

Recently Vedan, a Taiwanese company, was fined for dumping waste water directly into a waterway in southern Vietnam. What's the product this fine environmentally-conscious enterprise produces? MSG. If anyone can see any redeeming value in this company's existence, please point it out to me.

You can read about the wonderful contributions that Vedan has made to the Vietnamese economy and environment here.

Vedan
 
So you might already be thinking that the obvious solution to avoiding MSG intake is to simply prepare your own food and I guess you'd be correct about that. But then the next problem with food in Vietnam comes to the fore and that's how it's produced. While there is some regulation and enforcement regarding the use of chemicals such as pesticides in food production in Vietnam I don't have a lot of confidence in its effectiveness. I hope my doubts are misguided and I sincerely hope that there will be more public awareness and demands regarding the safety and healthiness of the food that's produced and served in Vietnam.

The problems don't stop with food, they also appear in Vietnamese beer. This one could all be in my head (one way or the other it is!) but I could swear that when I drink the locally produced Saigon beer, either Red or Green, even if I have only 2 bottles I get a headache the next day and it's not from a low alcohol tolerance. Sometimes it also happens with locally produced Tiger beer whose company is headquartered in Singapore. I've heard rumors that formaldehyde finds its way into some beers here. Again this is all unsubstantiated but I know how I feel and I now stick mostly to locally produced Japanese and European beers that seem to have a higher standard of quality and have yet to cause me any headaches.

When I first arrived in Vietnam I eagerly embraced all the food and drink here but have grown much more cautious and circumspect about it in the 3 years since. I now avoid street food even though I used to laugh at the squeamish tourists who were afraid to try it. I feel my former adventurousness was enough and now find little to justify eating and drinking anything that might be of a dubious source or quality. Sadly, it's difficult (foolhardy?) to believe that anyone is looking out for your best interests here.

The food in Vietnam should and could be more natural and healthy and I continue to hold out hope that the general populace and especially the urban will begin demanding it more.

One of the people that I share the house with that I'm currently living in goes to great time and trouble to buy and prepare almost all his own food. He's a vegetarian so it requires a lot of preparation. He does this at least partly out of concern about the unhealthy food many restaurants serve. Yet this same individual doesn't hesitate to spray Raid around the shared kitchen when he feels he's been seeing too many cockroaches. This strikes me as highly contradictory.

Recently I ate at a hotpot (lẩu) restaurant with a Vietnamese friend and was amazed and a bit taken aback at some of the ingredients that were dumped into our little boiling caldron for our consumption. The 2 most startling were some animal's brain and the bloody fetal ducks cracked directly out of their eggs over the bubbling concoction. The brain belonged to a pig I later was informed by my friend and that along with the aborted ducklings went into her mouth and not mine! Of course I consumed some of all of it by ingesting the rich soup. The fetal duck eggs (vịt lộn) are a popular street food in Vietnam but it's not something I've ever been able to think of as something I want to eat. I like duck and I like duck eggs but just not when they're one and the same!

Recently while visiting a Vietnamese friend who works in a shop, her goofy funny friend admitted that she had eaten cat meat before but never dog. Scruples? I don't know. She said it tasted good.

 

You see a lot of hotels with this name in Vietnam. It's especially amusing when there are also hourly rates posted outside! In Vietnam, like Japan and other places, 'love hotels' are common as there's often little or no privacy in residences due to the density of people living there. Hồ means lake.

 

I've always liked this little church on Nguyễn Trãi street in district 1. Note the Westerner sitting in front giving a wave!

Photocopied Books

My life here in Vietnam has taken a precipitous downturn with the apparent cessation of operations of the Vietnam Orangina plant. I noticed a few months ago that some stores were starting to run out of that sweet bubbly all natural ambrosia but had continued to believe it was only temporary, taking note of any store that still had it for sale, while obsessing over the production dates on the bottoms of the cans. The last date I saw on the cans that were becoming increasing difficult to find  was in September of last year.  Now, even the mini marts and restaurants are pretty much out of it at least here in Saigon. I'll miss my daily Orangina's and hope that the production will resume one day but knowing how business works, I'm not holding my breath. On a positive note, if that's the extent of my problems...

Tet has come and gone since my last post. I also spent a month back in the USA, my first trip there in almost 2 1/2 years. After only a few days of culture shock it felt like I had never left. I was especially nervous about getting behind the wheel of a car again but it came back quickly. I just had to remember to LOOK before pulling out into traffic, something that's not done so much in Vietnam. I also wore a jacket for the first time in over 2 years! I don't even have a jacket in Saigon. They're truly not needed here even though the Vietnamese will wear them if the temperature plunges below 25 degrees C (77 F) or, more likely, just to keep the sun off their arms.

I recently saw a real sign of the changing times in Vietnam. Water skiing in the river next to the Phu My Hung area in district 7! I'm mostly curious about where the boat they were using is kept and where they put in and out. I've seen them out there on 2 separate occasions on Sunday afternoons while doing my cycling exercise.
There are more and more golf equipment shops springing up in Saigon. I know golf is popular here and many of the Japanese and Korean businessmen like to play, but I only know of 3 courses in the Saigon area and a few practice ranges. I guess I'm wondering if there's enough of a market for golf equipment to keep so many of the shops in business.

Way back in October 2012 Vietnam ranked #2 in a list of the happiest countries on Earth! I don't think things have changed too much in that time. It was the only country in the top 10 not in the western hemisphere, 8 of them being in central or south America. And no, the USA is not on the list and neither is Canada or Mexico.

HappyHappy!

A few months back I did something I had long dreamed would be an experience beyond compare. I go through phases during which I get weekly 1-hour massages and had always thought that spas could increase their business by offering a 30 minute or 1-hour extension as a massage is ending.  Many people I imagine are feeling so good and relaxed as the hour ends that they would opt for a little more and gladly pay extra. Well, it finally happened. I was asked if I wanted an additional hour as my hour was ending and I readily accepted. What I discovered is that the principle of too much of a good thing applies. Perhaps it was my frame of mind, but the second hour just didn't follow through and match the first. The fact that I received a cut and paste repeat of the first massage may have had something to do with that. So in the future I'll enjoy the 1 hour and stop.

One activity I do a lot of here is read. It's easy to find English language newspapers and magazines for sale in the tourist areas. Around the Pham Ngu Lao backpacker area, there are always vendors carting around their high stacks, often over 1 meter high, of paperback English (and sometimes other) language books for sale. Almost 100% of them are photocopied and technically illegal but it's such a tempting and needed business that it goes on. One of the popular types of books for sale are the Lonely Planet guide books, again mostly photocopied meaning Lonely Planet gets no royalties for the many copies sold not just in Vietnam but throughout Southeast Asia.

I am no saint and admit I've purchased many copies of books here knowing full well they were photocopied. It's easy to rationalise but I don't pretend that it's a good thing to be doing.  The legal books here are expensive and the selection is very limited and of course it's easy to tell yourself you're helping out the locals by buying their 'products'. Legal books are available at bookshops and if you're looking for truly classic or quality literature it's your only option. There are no libraries in Vietnam like those available in the West. When I use the term 'the West' I mean the Americas, Europe, and Australia.

For example, I bought a legal copy of Cormac McCarthy's The Road at a book shop here and it cost me about $8 US and I'm sure that's well above the Western price. These legal books are all imported which just adds to their cost. I doubt the markets are large enough to warrant publication of foreign language books in Vietnam from a business point of view so that just adds another reason to rationalise buying photocopied books whenever possible. One could argue that if the publishing houses aren't going to serve the markets here then it's ok to buy illegally produced books. Ah, see how easy it is!

It almost seems like a dream but I could swear that 2 or so years ago Lonely Planet opened an office in the Pham Ngu Lao area. I was in one the the twin alleys that connect Pham Ngu Lau and Bui Vien streets and I looked up and saw it on the first (2nd for Americans) floor level and I thought 'Oh, so they're establishing an office here to combat the illegal production and sale of their books.'  Sometime later I looked for it again and it wasn't there.

There is a definite downside for the buyer of photocopied books, regardless of legal and ethical issues, and that's the books' quality. 90% of the time the books are fine, meaning no missing or unreadable pages, but I have bought 2 that had pages missing, one with an annoyingly significant number of them so. Often a few pages are out of order even if not missing. If you buy a photocopied Lonely Planet guide, you won't get the full color and detail of any of the maps.

I hope to do an end around on this whole issue by using my new Kindle e-reader that I picked up when I was in the US. I'm willing to pay for legal downloaded material. I've seen many people using e-readers on airplanes and elsewhere and it looks small and light and readable enough to be enjoyable.

Reading content on my notebook computer just isn't as enjoyable as having a book or newspaper or magazine in my hand. I bought a 1-year subscription to National Geographic's digital magazine and ended up not reading a single issue of it. It was just too slow and cumbersome to try to view the content on my notebook screen. Instead I often pay 100,000 vnd (about $4.85 US) for copies from the street vendors. I imagine the copies they sell are salvaged from hotels and shops, but their condition is always very good. It's hard to replace the ease and comfort of lying in bed with a magazine in your hands.

Vietnam's first Starbucks opened in Saigon's District 1 behind the New World Hotel about 2 months ago. I've heard rumors of long lines and expensive cups of coffee. I will continue to find out about it via rumor only. Vietnam already has very good coffee and coffee shops. But, if Peet's decides to open here...

View from the Phu My Hung (Phú Mỹ Hưng) area of District 7 across the river. The water skiing I witnessed took place near here.

A classic image of Vietnam! This is at 23-9 park in district 1. I don't know how the Vietnamese manage to catch winks in almost any situation, but they're masters at it. Bus drivers will open up the baggage compartment and string up a hammock in there while they await their next departure.

Back Down To Earth

My lease at 'Possibly the Best Address in Viet Nam' recently expired and I took the opportunity to make a change of residence. For the last 9 months I've lived at The Manor in the Binh Thanh (Bình Thạnh) district of Saigon. The Manor and its more expensive sister across the street, Saigon Pearl, are 2 well-known high-rises that offer an upscale lifestyle and incredible views of downtown Saigon if you're on the right side of the buildings and I was. I will miss that view. I'll also miss the nicely done interior of my studio apartment.

I will not miss the flooding that occurs on Nguyễn Hứu Cánh street whenever there's a significant high tide and is especially bad when coupled with a good downpour. Neither will I miss the extra driving that's required to get to other districts like 1 and 7 because The Manor is removed from the city center. And neither will I miss having to carry my laundry out to have it done because the facility on the ground floor charges prices that are outrageous even by Western standards ($1.50 US for one shirt!). And most of all I will not miss my Viet Kieu (Việt kìều) (he lives in the USA at times) neighbor and his drunken friends who would at times party until 2 or 3 AM to a chorus of escalating shouts as the beer continued to flow, culminated by a hallway rampage as they finally began making their way home. Money does not buy class.

Now I'm living again at the shared house I lived in before moving to The Manor. I'll stay here at least a few months before finding a new apartment, possibly in district 7.

It finally happened last week. After almost 2 years of blithely motoring around Saigon on my little Honda Cub I was pulled over by the CSGT, the traffic police. It happened after dark when the CSGT officer standing at the roadside pointed his flashlight at me and waved it around, the signal to pull over. I've been told that I could have just ignored it, but somehow I doubt that would be a safe effective technique or wouldn't everyone just do that? Or maybe after they saw I was a foreigner they would have let me go. I don't know. I've seen CSGT give chase when Vietnamese have tried that little trick. But I believe the officer may not have realised that I was a foreigner and he may have wished he hadn't stopped me. He didn't speak much English and of course I acted as if I don't speak a word of Vietnamese. I hadn't violated any driving laws as far as I knew.

"Hello", I chirped.

"Papor, licen", he replied with not a hint of cheerfulness.

"I don't carry my passport with me", I replied, "but I do have a driver license."

Technically I'm not required to carry a driver license in Vietnam because technically the engine on my Honda Cub is only 49 cc, under the 50 cc minimum that triggers the license requirement.

The CSGT officer had already pulled over 2 or 3 other Vietnamese motorbikers before he took my license and gave it a cursory examination before handing it back to me.  He had a scowl on his face and I knew what he expected, but he didn't know how to cross the language and culture barrier to request it and I sure as hell wasn't going to provide any assistance.

"Ok?", I asked smiling stupidly, and he waved his hand signaling me to go.

No money changed hands.

I have a friend who used to carry a UK driver license who also drives a Honda Cub similar to mine. I say used to because he was pulled over by the CSGT and made the foolish mistake of handing them his UK license. He is of Asian descent so the CSGT may have thought he was Vietnamese. When they discovered he wasn't and that they weren't going to extract any tea money from the traffic stop they reacted angrily by driving off with his license and he'll never see it again. It's possible he could go to some CSGT station somewhere and pay the appropriate 'processing fee' to retrieve it. I imagine they might do the same with a passport so I think it would be the height of folly to hand that over to one of them.

I've heard some people say a foreigner should always say he doesn't have a license, but I know someone else from the UK who had his motorbike impounded for 30 days because he didn't have one. He was driving a bike over the 50 cc minimum.

Vietnam has a driving insurance requirement but it seems to not be enforced. I was happy the CSGT officer didn't ask me for proof of insurance because I currently am uninsured, but I think about 99.8% of the Vietnamese motorbikers are also. I did have insurance but I let it expire. It only costs about $4 US / year. The safe thing to do is to get a Vietnamese license and stay insured.

About a year ago I informed 2 Vietnamese friends that I'd never been stopped by the CSGT and one of them commented that it 'wasn't fair' implying that traffic stops are an accepted part of life for most Vietnamese and that I was getting a free ride as a foreigner. It's probably true.

Motorbike drivers don't have it as bad as car drivers however. While showing that you have the money to afford to drive a car in Saigon often gets one preferential treatment, it's not true with the CSGT unless you consider getting stopped and forking over money as preferential.

This year Vietnam will begin registration fees for 4-wheel vehicles. There's discussion about having them for motorbikes, but that's still in the preliminary stages. Perhaps this would provide the funding necessary for the CSGT to better enforce traffic laws.

One job that's available to foreigners in Vietnam who feel the need to be employed is bar manager at a bar that caters to foreigners. There's a bar in district 7 that recently had a need for a new manager and some of the staff were encouraging me to apply. I believe they did this because they like my easy-going nature and they were thinking, probably quite correctly, that I would be an easy boss, but I'm not sure that's the best thing for the bottom line. In any case I wasn't interested in doing it. It requires being at the bar almost every day from the early evening until late and schmoozing with the customers to keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and encouraging them to invite their friends to also patronize the bar. I was told by the ex-manager that one can earn enough money to live an easy life in Saigon.

Finally, it's so easy when living in the more developed parts of cities like Saigon to forget how difficult life can be  : Young Girl With a Terrible Affliction

One of the remaining French colonial buildings in Saigon. This one is in district 1. Note the highly styled column to the right of the gate with the soldier's bust atop.