Club a Dub Dubbin'

I was in Nha Trang about 1 1/2 years ago at an open-air cafe enjoying a coffee and looked over to my left at a table about 20 feet away where 3 Vietnamese women were seated. Of the 2 who were facing in my direction, one was of the wannabe starlet siren type, early 20's, cute, wearing designer, or more likely cheap imitation designer sunglasses and a sundress and the other was older, probably early or mid-30's and okay looking. I detected a motion from their direction and glanced again at The Siren and it seemed she was smiling at me and giving me a small wave of her hand. My male by-pass circuitry immediately kicked in and I became instantly interested. You know the male by-pass circuitry, the pathways in the male brain that route impulses safely away from the accumulated knowledge and experiences of life and the basic logic that might call into question the idea that cute women 25+ years your junior are attracted to you simply because of who you are. Yeah, that circuitry, that sometimes pulls us out of the slow numbing drumbeat of our day-to-day existence and serves as the springboard for a few memories and stories possibly worth retelling. Anyway, it had kicked in and I'm sure I smiled back like an idiot and after The Siren then motioned for me to join them at their table I was on my way over.

I found out that both The Siren and the older woman worked at a bar around the corner from where we were sitting and I was invited to drop by that evening to say hello. The Siren was 20 years old. I exchanged telephone numbers with both of them.

In Vietnam people are freer with handing out their phone numbers than in the USA. I'm not sure why this is, but there seems to be less of a problem here with harassment and stalking type behaviors than in the US. I believe this gets all the way back to how important it is for Vietnamese, and Southeast Asians in general, to keep 'face' or what Westerners would think of as reputation. But it differs from the Western idea of reputation in that it's stricter and narrower and seems to be complied with by about 100% of the population. The obsession with face keeps people pretty much in line as far as doing anything, especially in a social sense, that other people might view unfavorably.

Another phenomenon that I believe is due to the same strict social protocols observed here is that when a sidewalk has been repaired and there's fresh cement exposed to any and all passers-by, no one etches their initials or anything else into it. In the USA, guards have to be posted until the cement sufficiently dries to prevent it from becoming covered in tags and other random graffiti.

There are 2 occasions I've regretted giving out my phone number in Vietnam because I was harassed. One of them was a young man who got the idea that I was working as a lecturer at one of the better universities in Saigon and thought I could somehow help him get admitted there. Even if both of those had been true, the fact that he harassed me about it would have precluded me from ever helping him in any way. He eventually got a clue and stopped. The other was a bizarre woman who was desperate for a friend, boyfriend, husband, or maybe anyone who would pay any attention to her at all. Unfortunately there was really nothing attractive about her and I don't what I was (or wasn't) thinking when I gave her my number. When I realised she was not going to stop SMS'ing me, I succumbed to my dark side and started playing along with her just for fun. I was later able to convince her that I had changed my number and that she should IM me at a special Yahoo account I set up for her. It worked. The poor woman was so dense she never even bothered to check that my number was still working!

Back to Nha Trang. Later that afternoon I was relaxing in my hotel room and got a message from the older woman. She wanted to know if she could come to my hotel and 'visit' me! I let her know in no uncertain terms that I wasn't interested in that. Had the message been from The Siren, hmm I don't know, but it wasn't from The Siren so it doesn't matter.

I did drop by their bar that night. The older woman saw me and kept her distance, possibly a little embarrassed by what had happened. That was fine with me. Both she and The Siren were members of the staff, mostly serving food and drinks to the half dozen or so patrons. The Siren smiled and said hello but otherwise seemed a bit aloof. Another server sat down at my table and I asked about The Siren. 'Oh, Thanh, she's the owner's girlfriend', I was informed. The owner was an older (ok, maybe about my age) fellow American.

After about 10 minutes, The Siren stopped by my table and asked me to step outside. This was so that the owner wouldn't see her chatting with someone else of course. She informed me that she was getting off early and that I should meet her at another bar by the beach in 30 minutes. I agreed. I was just looking for something to do that night.

She was there as promised and informed me we were going somewhere else and needed to get a taxi. The tone was now set. She would tell me what we were doing. I didn't mind since I was up for something different from the tourist area near the beach at Nha Trang and anything was fine with me.

After catching a taxi she talked briefly in Vietnamese with the driver and after driving a short distance we stopped to pick up another Vietnamese girl accompanied by a tall white foreigner. She was The Siren's friend and he, a Brit, was her friend. After about 10 minutes we arrived at a well-lit nightclub away from the beach, a place I had not been to. Everyone quickly piled out of the taxi leaving me to pay the fare with no assistance. No big deal as it wasn't expensive and I was enjoying myself so I thought nothing of it. Someone else will get the next fare I thought to myself.

As we entered the club I was assaulted by the pounding music being blared from the man-size speakers positioned all around the place. It was so loud that I could feel the sound in my torso and I believe it was actually interfering with my heartbeat rhythm.

This was my first time in a Vietnamese nightclub. We were shown to a table and immediately surrounded by at least 4 staff whose job it was to cater to anything we needed. In addition to bringing food and drinks, they would light cigarettes, empty ashtrays that had even a trace of ash in them, refill any glass that you had so much as taken a small sip from, constantly replace the ice in your beer glass, and wipe off even a mere drop of spilled drink or condensation from your tabletop.

My companions ordered a food plate and we all ordered beer. The Siren and I danced for a while while the other 2 stayed at the table eating and drinking. I didn't talk to them at all other than the initial 'Hi, nice to meet you' and it was too loud in the place to do much more than scream at someone right beside you and hope you were heard.

After an hour or so The Siren told me that they were all ready to leave and wanted to go to another club. When the bill was brought to the table, the other 2 simply got up and left. I'm not kidding, they stuck me with the bill and offered to contribute not 1 Vietnamese dong! It wasn't too outrageous, around $20-$25 USD, but the attentive and solicitous staff all loitered around the table waiting for their tips and I was the only one handing out any money. So now another tone had been set, one that I wasn't so agreeable about.

I've mentioned it before, but it deserves another. In Southeast Asia, it's not just the locals who'll cheat you it's also the foreigners. You really have to watch it. A lot of foreigners who choose to spend time here are not from the cream of whatever society they came from and one shouldn't make the mistake of thinking another English-speaking foreigner that you don't know well is going to treat you with any sort of fairness.

The other 2 jumped into their own taxi outside the club (hmmm, I wonder why?) and The Siren and I got into our own. I told her I wanted to go back to the beach area and didn't want to go to another club. My desire to explore new parts of Nha Trang had been severely tempered by the company I was keeping.

I got out at the beach, after paying the full fare again of course, and said goodbye to The Siren who was on her way to meet some other friends at another bar or club. I comforted myself with the thought that at least I wasn't stupid/desperate enough to have her as my girlfriend and that I had had a fairly interesting night.

I heard from The Siren again the next day, but didn't reply. Been there done that.

Interestingly I ran into the Brit 2 nights later sitting at a sidewalk table by himself having a beer. I walked up and greeted him and he was noticeably uncomfortable. Nevertheless he invited me to sit down and then mumbled some insincere apology about being a bit short on funds the other night. It turned out he was living in Nha Trang working at a dive shop. I figured he might at least offer to buy me a beer. Dream on. He had probably gone native after living there for a while and considered tourists fair game for fleecing.

I didn't venture inside another nightclub until last week. Not far from where I live in Saigon there's a club that I often drive by when returning home at night and it often looks rather lively. Its name is Lush and I had heard and read about it before. I hadn't had any real desire to go there as it's obviously tailored to the young hip crowd and it oozes attitude with the phalanx of doormen and the rope guarding the entrance.

A friend had told me that she's been there a few times and as I was chatting with her asked her kiddingly if she's been to Lush recently. 'Wanna go there tonight?', was her reply. 'Tuesday is ladies' night', she added. 'What the hell?' I thought. At least I could say I had been and experienced it and I had plenty of time on my hands.

After arriving by cab and entering Lush I found out that ladies' night is really good for 2 reasons. First, women get in free and get free drinks which meant, in stark contrast to my first experience in a Vietnamese nightclub, I only had to pay for myself, and secondly, the place is crawling with young, attractive, well-dressed members of the fairer sex. I wasn't looking to meet any other women since I considered my companion sort of as my date even though we've always just been friends and maybe I liked not being under that sort of pressure.

I first had a passion fruit mojito that I have to say was done quite well. The mojito is a popular drink in Saigon these days and there's plenty of fresh mint available here to do it right. The music was very good and the 2 DJ's made sure there was never even a hint of a pause in the beat the entire time we were there. We danced for a good long time. There's not much of a dance floor at Lush except for a very small space in front of the DJ's about 5 feet wide so most people just find a place around one of the bars or the upstairs railing to move around in.

Lush is a good scene with a mix of foreigners (about 30-40%) and well-heeled Vietnamese. I was feeling a bit self-conscious pulling out my 'dumb' phone to check the time in the midst of all the iPhones and other smart phones being openly brandished around me. I guess I'll have to give in and get myself one. At some point between 1 and 2 AM I looked down from the upstairs section on the bar below and saw that one of the plaid skirt clad Vietnamese bar girls was being held down by some of her co-workers while her mouth was held open and an undetermined spirit from one of the bar bottles was being liberally poured in. Not too long after this, at the same downstairs bar, some of the other bar girls began jumping up on the bar and dancing in a very non-traditional way. Well, it was traditional but only in a way that goes back to the beginnings of the propagation of our species if you get my drift. The blouses had begun creeping up off the plaid skirts to expose their smooth lithe swaying bellies and bar bottles were being tipped skyward to allow the free flow of various bar libations through their expectant parted lips. Not that I found any of this interesting in the least.

I made it home a little before 3 AM. There was a time in my life about 2 decades ago when that wasn't such an unusual hour for me to come creeping back home, but since then it's been a rather rare occurrence and I don't plan on changing that at this point. I had a good time and am glad I went to Lush and I recommend it, expecially on Tuesday Ladies' Nights, for those who want a good dance club experience in Saigon. My cover charge was 100,000 vnd (about $4.90 US) and drinks were a little less than that so it wasn't ridiculously expensive and there aren't many places like Lush in Vietnam.

Gardens near the Cao Dai temple in Tay Ninh. I realise I need to get out with my camera and start getting some new photos. I've gotten out of the habit of being a camera-toting tourist.